Every day reports of cyberbullying and online abuse invade the news headlines. In fact, teachers report that cyberbullying is their #1 safety concern in their classrooms.
I’ll never forget the pit in my stomach when I watched Monica Lewinsky’s TED talk on cyber-bullying. “I was Patient Zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously…public shaming as a blood sport has to stop,” states Lewinsky.
Amid an online culture of humiliation, disagreement, and endless opinion — there has to be a better way. Could a resurgence of manners be what our society needs?
I was raised on good manners. “Please” and “thank you” were non-negotiables in our home. My mother always made it known when I was rude, selfish, or inconsiderate. Courtesy and politeness were daily practices and for the past three decades continue to be something I work on and now hope to pass on to my children.
Simply said, good manners are behaviors that demonstrate respect and consideration for others. They are about prioritizing other people above yourself.
The challenge with the internet is everything is about you. Ads follow you based on your interests. Anything you want can easily be found. Need directions? A gift for grandma? A way to share that your life is fantastic (or you at least want people to think it is)? The default nature of the internet makes us all more selfish. Everything is about what you think. The most popular social media platform in the world asks, “What’s on your mind?” A not-so-subtle invitation to broadcast your opinion of the world and its problems. It’s important to understand that social media presents a fragment of the truth, not the whole truth. It never portrays an accurate picture of real life (thanks, Instagram Husband).
In the face of this, the question at the core of good manners—how do you treat others?—makes our cultural moment difficult to navigate.
The simple question is, how do you treat others online?
What do you like and what does it say about you? What kind of content are you retweeting? How many hearts are you pressing on Instagram? What kinds of comment threads are you participating in?
How you act online reflects what you value and believe about the world. You and I might live in two worlds; a digital world and a real world, but in both worlds, there’s only one you.
When an interaction is online or face-to-face, your legacy is determined by your example, not your opinion.
And when I handover the keys to my children so that they can access the World Wide Web freely–I hope they fully understand how to be a responsible browser and contributor to it.
And when I handover the keys to my children so that they can access the World Wide Web freely–I hope they fully understand how to be a responsible browser and contributor to it.
Eric Brown is Co-founder and CVO of Whiteboard
